My girl for a day

Hong hangs out with him every Sunday, meets his friends, listens to his tales of happiness and woe, and even cooks for him sometimes if he wants, but they never make love.

The garment factory worker is an occasional escort who gets paid VND300,000-500,000 (US$17-28) for playing girlfriend for half a day or a full day.

More middle-aged men in Ho Chi Minh City feel lonely and stressed out from work these days and want a girl to go out with, and tell their troubles to, with no strings attached.

Their loneliness has given birth to what is a new service in Vietnam whereby a man hires a girl to be his “lover for a day.” Most of the chaste escorts have moved to the city from the Mekong Delta countryside to work in the factories.

For Hong, it started out by accident when a co-worker told her about a cousin, a forty-something businessman with no emotional ties who just wanted a girl beside him on Sundays.

The first time they met, the businessman told Hong he needed a girl to accompany him sometimes when he met his friends or went to the café on Sundays. Aside from that, they would have nothing to do with each other.

“He made it clear that he needed a tender girl to listen to him, and no sex,” said Hong, who comes from An Giang Province and works in Tan Tao Industrial Park in Binh Tan District.
Even with overtime, she makes VND1.5 million a month at most from her factory job.

“I lose nothing working as a girlfriend. All I have to do is go out with him and listen to him, and I get money. It helps that he’s an educated and kind man.”

The extra job allows Hong to send more money home while the man was, and still is, happy to have someone to talk to about his work, sometimes his family troubles, and feel proud to have a pretty and well-behaved girl of his own to introduce to his friends.

Some of these friends were quick to catch on and asked Hong to introduce her co-workers to be their “girlfriends.”

According to Hong, many successful middle-aged city men prefer the single life and only want a partner at the weekend or for a special occasion.

A 42-year-old IT engineer said the pressure of work and the desire to stay footloose and fancy-free kept him from having a family of his own.

But sometimes at the weekend he wanted to go out with a pretty and clean girl, the type who would hardly be found in a nightclub or other entertainment hotspot.

“I know that affection between people cannot be bought, and sometimes I felt uneasy seeing the girl almost cry when we said goodbye. But that’s the situation: we need someone to talk to, and they need money. Noone’s doing anything wrong,” he said.

It took several dates with different men for Ha, a footwear worker at Vinh Loc Industrial Zone in Binh Tan District, to realize that “men sometimes really need consoling, need to share the things they cannot tell their families or close friends. They’d rather talk to a total stranger like me, and then leave.”

Ha knows clearly her role as a girlfriend, not a sex worker, and is careful about who she will hang out with.

“We girls make it clear with the men from the beginning. Anyway, if they need sex, they won’t come to us,” said the Ca Mau Province native.

Hong realizes that many people do not like the idea of paid escorts and look down on her and the other girls.

She is also well aware of the dangers inherent in her line of part-time work. “If we don’t look out for ourselves, we could easily turn into prostitutes,” she said.

Psychologist Le Thi Thu Lan said this particular service was already known in urban China and Taiwan.

“To some extent, being a ‘girlfriend’ is like being a friend, a consoler, a sharer. But this is about affection between two people of the opposite sex, and it simply cannot be bought and sold.”
Lan noted that the escort business was frowned upon in Vietnam, where long-lasting relationships are valued.

Date rape is an obvious risk and the girls are cautious about eating with a client for fear of being sedated.

Two months ago a co-worker of Ha from Soc Trang Province was slipped a sedative by her client when they were out fishing. She woke up to the realization she had been raped.

Hong, Ha and the other girls have strict rules that they adhere to religiously.

Married men are a no-no, as are men whose identity is suspect, the girls never allow themselves to be photographed with their clients, and they steer well clear of places of ill repute. Most importantly, they must never fall for a client.

Yet for all their emotional precaution, it’s happened a few times that a girl ends up marrying a client.

Hong understands and finds that she cannot resist being touched on occasion, especially as her partner is a gentle, polite and understanding soul.

“We stay together for the whole day, taking care of each other, so it’s hard not to feel anything.”
After a hard week in the factory, Hong feels “happy at the weekend when I’m taking care of a man, even though it’s only a job.”

Source: Tuoi Tre